It’s a crazy time for me. I always find it difficult to change my mode. there is millions of women who simultaneously runs their family and work, but for me it’s almost forbidden. because of my proffession I almost can not work while staying with my family rather for my work I have to be out of town, stay with some other people in a unreal family for months and then I come back try to be wife and mother again. It’s always difficult. it’ really like changing modes. I remain spaced out for some days at the beginning and slowly come back to a normal life at home. Sometimes it even take months. the physical me stays at home , but my mind stays in a different world. I know how difficult it can be for debashish and riya to tolerate this “‘spaced out” me.
it is a time like that. I am just back from some small work but I was so involved that I still find it difficult to back to my other “self”. but ironically rehana my help is out of town for next 10 days. i am absolutely not scared of the work I have to do, but it is so difficult to remember them even. I can not even remember the rules of my own.
I spent the whole weekend in the market mainly buying vegetables and grocery as having lots of things will solve my problem, then today I spend half of my day in arranging them. I am so tensed that in this sleepless night I was thinking if I can finish some work of tomorrow. it’s so crazy,